Misery Loves Whiskey
by T.J. Wise
Summary: D/E/S - The road to hell is paved with good intentions. No one knows this better than Elena Gilbert as, with each exception & concession, she slowly spirals into the 2nd circle of hell. It all started so innocently... Story starts around TVD S1E14, but we all know it started much sooner. M because is going to go there & then some...
1. What a difference a night makes

**AN: Finally I managed to start writing the story *I* wanted to write when I started "My dirty little secret". I don't know how, but I ended up literally losing the plot line. Just please be patient, I may have a frame work and some future chapters written at this stage, but mostly, I am writing this as I go along and with a very hectic life.**

**This story starts around TVD S1 E14. But we all know it started much sooner. hehe.**

** Enjoy!**

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…The first time it happened it seemed innocent enough.

It was an exception she made, a concession she allowed, given the exceptional circumstances she, no they, found themselves in.

Her intentions had been good, pure even, of that Elena was certain.

She had wanted to help, of that she was clear.

Her actions had been inspired by the need to ease the Salvatore brothers' pain. They where suffering and she wanted to take it all away, that was all, to quieten the turmoil of the brother she loved who loved his older brother whose heart had been broken that day...

It had been a couple of intense weeks… No, intense months really… Elena had met Stefan, the mysterious Mystic Falls newcomer, and fallen for his spell. Then "accidentally" met his estranged, dazzling brother who Stefan seemed to hate and love with equal intensity, only to find out that they were not what they seemed at all. Not at all…

So, Elena went from taking a chance in love to taking chances with her life when she decided to stay with Stefan even though he was a 160 something vampire. Well… it hadn't been boring…Definitely not.

She learned about mythical creatures, compulsion, how cruel and kind Damon could be, about Stefan AND Damon's ex… A woman that bore her face and had blackened both of their hearts by turning them into vampires and, apparently, eternal enemies…

Because that wasn't information enough to send her to the shrink, Elena had also learned that she was adopted, that Stefan was the reason why she escaped her car accident unscathed and that her best friend Bonnie was a witch… All very normal...

Reality couldn't have shifted more abruptly than that; it was practically spinning off its axis.

Then there had been that impromptu trip to Denver, where Damon, the dark knight that he was, rescued her from the debris of a car accident and took her across state lines.

Elena had been indignant at being "kidnapped" at first, but then she became glad. Yes, glad to get out of Mystic Falls, away from what her life had become because of the death of her parents and away from the hidden truths that her boyfriend was keeping from her. And it had been a fun time out, it really had. Who knew Damon could be such good company? Of course he didn't drop the sexual innuendos and his flirting antics, but Elena found herself relaxing and bonding with the older Salvatore. Maybe the beers helped…

It was all innocent enough, but on that trip they had found a connection, a camaraderie of sorts, which was sealed when Elena saved his life from Stefan's best friend's boyfriend… Damon had deserved to be hurt, he had, after all, killed Lexi and caused Stefan enormous pain. But when push came to shove, Elena had been unable to let it happen. She couldn't pin point the moment when Damon had started to matter… but he did.

When they had returned to Mystic Falls, it was obvious, even to Stefan, her budding friendship with his older brother. It clearly made Stefan uncomfortable, but Damon helping to protect Elena at the 1950's school dance went a long way to diffuse the tension. Then they had struck a tentative balance when Stefan decided to pretend to help Damon free Katherine and Elena agreed to go along with the ruse. She should have known better... but Damon was still being a jerk at that time, so her poor judgement was somewhat justified... Or that is what she told herself so that she could sleep at night...

It still made Elena sick to her stomach when she thought back to when and how Damon learned of their betrayal. His face in the dark forest…, illuminated by Elena's flash light, showed a deep raw hurt… It had been aimed at his brother too, but the lion share of that hurt was because of her betrayal and Elena knew it… She felt it… So when Damon grabbed her and threatened to kill her, even if she was scared, she felt no anger towards him… He had actually released her tenderly, almost carefully, and that dug the knife of her guilt even deeper… That is when she knew for sure that Damon had gotten under her skin.

Elena hadn't really had time to process her feelings before she and Bonnie got kidnapped by other vampires… In the end, they had been saved by her white knight Stefan… but it still stung that Damon didn't care enough come to her aid… So Elena had gone to him with a peace offering, removing her vervain necklace to gain back his trust. Damon had been sweet about it, almost tender, and that made some sleepy giant stir inside of her…

Next, plan to free Katherine in hand, Bonnie and her grandma Sheila on their side, they had all congregated at the tomb to lift the spell that was trapping Damon's loved one. Obviously, things didn't go according to plan and chaos ensued. Anna got to go in to get her mother as Damon frantically searched for Katherine and Elena, left behind by Damon and Ana, got attacked by one of the desiccating bodies. Stefan rushed to her aid and then they learned of the older witch's true intentions… Sheila never intended on lifting the seal… She only wanted to trap more vampires inside… and that meant Stefan and Damon too… Elena pleaded with Bonnie and her best friend made her grandmother open the tomb for real… Anna exited immediately with her mother, but there was no sign of the brothers.

Elena had wearily watched the entrance of the tomb as Bonnie and Sheila chanted and time slowly ran out on Stefan and Damon coming out of that stony grave. Panic seized her and she ran in to find Stefan, deep into the tomb, trying to reason with a hysterical Damon. So Elena urged them both to follow her, _pleaded with Damon to follow her_, out of that filthy place. Damon, thank the heavens, listened and the brothers managed to exit just in time. Elena felt relieved... that is, until she took one look at Damon as he stood there, immobile, apathetic and broken.

Shivers went down her spine as Elena thought back at how hollow Damon had looked… Poor Damon… Elena's heart was raw on his behalf. The usually cocky, sure of himself and full of swagger vampire had been in a state of shock when he found out that Katherine was not in the tomb. So Elena did what came naturally to her, she left Stefan's side and went to console his brother. Damon did not return the embrace, but he leaned in a little, and Elena hoped she managed to convey a lot in that single supportive embrace. Because, even if she feared Stefan's reaction, it was clear that Damon needed to be held, to be loved even, and Elena was never one to deny help or affection.

Later that night, Elena was visited by a crushed and hollowed eyed Stefan, worried sick about the state of mind of his brother. Apparently things had gotten from bad to worse, for Damon had confronted Anna and Pearl and learned that Katherine had been free all this time and even known about his whereabouts… Ouch… No matter how much she tried, Elena still couldn't believe that Katherine had fooled Damon into thinking that she was trapped in that tomb. It baffled Elena the lengths that Katherine had gone through to hide the fact that she was free and not rotting away as Damon had believed. Elena's heart burned with indignation for the humiliation Damon had gone through, for the years of waiting and longing wasted for no good reason whatsoever. How could Katherine be so cruel, so careless, with Damon's heart?

Stefan was so distressed that he never berated Elena for hugging Damon, and she was thankful for that small mercy. Elena tried to reassure and comfort Stefan the best she could, but he was full of sorrow, worry and misery, and could not be appeased. She begged for him to stay overnight, to sleep in the comfort of her arms, but no, he wanted to find his brother. So Elena let him disappear into the night even if Stefan left her in almost the exact same wretched mood he had arrived, making Elena feel useless at helping the vampire she loved. Nonetheless, she was a sister herself and she understood how much a sibling's pain can affect the other. Stefan talked a good game, but he loved Damon more than anything and anyone in this world and Elena knew it full well by now.

Despondent as she felt, there was nothing else to do but for Elena to shower and get to bed. Maybe tomorrow she would find new ways to help the Salvatore brothers, but being tired and sleepless was certain of not being of help to anyone, least of all to herself.

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**AN: Next chapter is where it starts getting interesting :) xoxo**


	2. A chain reaction of emotions

**AN: An this is where the story really starts :) Enjoy!**

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Too many hearts where laden tonight with the kind of anguish that damages your insides and gauges pieces of your soul that never really grow back.

This evening, Mystic Falls was the stage to a wave of hurt, loss and betrayal, but also of love… so much love…

There was the younger brother, who watched his older sibling heart and hopes shatter as he learned that the woman he loved had not really cared for him for more than a century and a half… and maybe never...

With choking distress, Stefan watched as Damon would not listen to reason and almost got locked forever in a senseless effort to save Katherine… Elena had managed to get through to his brother and save the two of them from an awful fate... She had been the only one in ages to have that kind of power… Stefan had been relieved at first, only to feel his relief plummet as all fight abandoned Damon and he simply stood there prostrated and shattered in his dejection.

Then there was Elena, trying to aid the man she loved, trying to help the brother he loved, trying to save them both by begging the witch she loved not to let them get trapped and die. Then there had been Damon in all his wretchedness and woe, and Elena had left her boyfriend's embrace to extended her arms and wrap around Damon to try to hold him together…

But the calamity wasn't over yet… As, on one end of the town, Damon had discovered just how much Katherine had not cared for him, at the other end, Elena and Bonnie watched horrified over the corpse of her grandmother… There were no words to calm Bonnie's sobs, and Elena had finally left her to bewail alone…

So now, out there in this vile night, there was also the young witch who was mourning her grandmother's death because she had asked her to do the impossible and save a friend's loved ones… Bonnie had asked it out of love for Elena… but she never expected to lose her grandmother over it. The pain gnawed at her insides and turned them dark…

As Bonnie cried, Damon fragmented and Stefan searched for his brother, Elena fretted over the things she couldn't undo or control. She, the only human in this quadrangle of ache, felt powerless, useless and pointless because she could not help her loved ones anymore than she could help herself when her parents died.

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Finally showered and tucked in bed, Elena hoped sleep would bring relief or some kind of temporary oblivion, but sleep she could not. She tossed and turned in her bed, her head full of sorrow and compassion... Weary from mind to body to soul because she felt so bad for Bonnie, so bad for Stefan and so very, very bad Damon and ever so useless for not being able to help… Elena's brains tried and tried to figure out ways in which she could do something about Damon's broken heart or about helping Stefan stop Damon from going on a killing spree… She felt so hopeless and small…

How do you fix a shattered heart? How do you mend the hurt borne of 160 years of lies? She really didn't know where to start…

Elena still remembered the first time she and Damon had spoken about Katherine… How his love for the woman had been obvious even though they were speaking about Stefan's ex-girlfriend. Come to think of it, that night, she and Damon had shared a moment, some sort of kinship that she didn't see until today. Maybe because she had been blindsided by the "Bad Damon" propaganda Stefan spoon fed her, or probably because Damon's bad behavior was distracting enough. What with him abusing Caroline, threatening Bonnie, trying to kiss her, killing Vicky _and_ Lexi… Well, Elena was bound to miss the first time they bonded in the midst of all that!

Her mind was on overdrive, and in her restlessness and need to do something, Elena let a rogue idea take root and, before she had thought it through, she had sent Damon a text.

_"My window is always open if you need to talk or need company. xoxo E"_

The action had been simple, the intention behind it good, the words were innocent enough - at least that is what she told herself and the jury inside her head.

Elena silenced the objections crowding her brain, the ones that tried to make themselves heard. She quietened the warnings that wanted to be made known because, after all, she was just trying to help, she told herself, nothing more.

As Elena held her phone expectantly, nervously waiting for Damon's reply, she saw the man himself climbing through her window.

One glance at the elder Salvatore and Elena's heart tightened further in grief.

Damon looked hollowed out, more like a ghost than the egotistical vampire she was used to seeing. On cheer impulse and sudden empathy for the grieving being in front of her, Elena rose up and wrapped her arms around him. She felt Damon lean into her again and she hugged him tighter, running soothing patterns on his back, trying to ease the pain away.

A few moments passed before Elena moved back to look him in the eyes. So much sorrow inhabited his blue eyes that she wanted to wail… She raised her hand to his cheek, caressing it softly. It pained her to see him this way, so broken and bereft...

"I'm so sorry Damon..."- she whispered sincerely -"How can I help?"

Damon gave her a sad smile and shook his head with a pained sigh.

"You can't... Not really. But you being around helps a little." - he said brokenly and hung his head low as if speaking had been too much of an effort.

Elena nodded and pressed her lips to his forehead, giving him the gentlest of kisses.

"Then stay." - she offered, quickly adding – "Stay the night. Sleep here, with me."

Damon looked up, confusion and some other feeling Elena couldn't pin point dancing in his eyes.

"What about Stefan?"- he had to ask because somebody had to ask it.

"Stefan is worried about you Damon..." - Elena said by way of an answer but both her and Damon knew she avoided the question -"Come, it's late. You'll feel better once you rest a little." – she said softly with a reassuring smile that would undo any man as her hand grazed his shoulder.

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**AN: Hope you like where this is going :)**


	3. Internal conflicts

**AN: So terribly sorry it took me so long to post this chapter but I haven't been well. So I apologize for any typos that I have missed out.**

**xoxo**

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Damon finally surrendered to Elena's idea, honestly too emotionally tired to think this through, and allowed her to divest him of his leather jacket. It felt comforting to be tended to so tenderly… as if he was precious and fragile.

Damon couldn't remember the last time anybody really cared enough to treat him this way… Maybe his mother? He thought with a pang… But it was too hard to think and Damon was exhausted… Years and years and _years_ of anguish came crashing down on him; the emotional floodgate was open and he didn't know how to stop himself from drowning…

Maybe Elena could be his salvation he thought ruefully… But how could she be when she belonged to Stefan and wore the features of Katherine? No… salvation was not for him and Damon knew it… He had always been the bad son, the troubled brother, the vengeful monster… Salvation didn't wrap her tender arms around lost causes like him.

As Elena placed her hand in his, Damon focused back on the present and let her tug him towards the bed. He let himself be led without resistance, her soft hand in his almost like a warm fire in a bitter cold night. Elena lifted the covers up and sat on her side, looking up at him expectantly, brown eyes waiting for him to take his shoes off himself and get into bed next to her as if it was a normal thing they did. Had Damon not been so shattered, he would have laughed… because certainly the universe was trying to confuse him. He didn't do good and Elena knew that. So why was she being so loving and caring, so tender and welcoming? It simply made no sense…

Damon stared at her for a while, hesitating a little under her warm stare. Elena radiated love, promises of healing and salvation… He wanted to latch on to the life raft she was offering, but his heart was so battered that it scared him. Feeling his reticence, Elena cast him another one of her warm encouraging smiles.

"It will be ok Damon." – she whispered in a promise and he was weak enough to take her at her word for now…

So, keeping his eyes glued on hers, Damon removed his shoes, his socks and his shirt making Elena's breath hitch involuntarily and Damon's eyebrow's twitch in response.

Not wanting to add to Damon's pain, Elena took a deep calming breath hoping the blush in her cheeks would subside, and held her tongue on berating him for his upper nakedness. She was however, forced to say something as Damon started to unbutton his trousers.

"P-please tell me you have some underwear on."- she said nervously.

Damon's lack of a quick and sassy reply told Elena of just how badly shaken he was by the latest turn of events. He simply quirked an eye brow and proceeded to remove his trousers to reveal black boxers.

Feeling awkward and foolish Elena gave him a sheepish smile and patted his side of the bed. Damon tightened his lips reflexively but got in nonetheless. This was an awkward situation for both of them and their nervousness was showing. Damon leaned against the headboard and pulled the covers up, eyes still glued to Elena's. The look on his face was indecipherable and Elena finally gave up puzzling it out.

"What?" - she asked as kindly as he could, finding it hard to keep still under his steady gaze.

Damon cocked his head to the side and, to Elena's surprise, reached for the hem of her PJ top. Elena's eyes went wide as saucers and her mouth went slack.

"Damon..."- she whispered whether in warning or in acceptance she didn't honestly know, but at least her hands landed over his in a restraining gesture.

"I need this..."- Damon pleaded softly.

Elena looked at him bewildered. Her mind scattering to the four winds trying to figure out what "this" meant, what lines she had crossed, what Damon had in mind, how far she was willing to go in her need to help this bereft man.

Her own hands betrayed her first and she allowed Damon to take her top off, exposing her lacy bra. Damon eyes roamed the exposed skin making Elena blush profusely. Here she was, half naked in bed, with a most gorgeous looking man that happened to be her boyfriend's brother…. Not good…

Snapping her out of the early stages of panic, Damon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to lie down under him. As Elena allowed it, she found her back pressed on her mattress with Damon hovering over her, his body pressing down onto hers making her heart sprint.

As her head sunk in the pillow, Elena's heart rate and breathing were erratic, getting more out of control when Damon lifted his head so that they were eye to eye. Damon's expression, the situation they found themselves in, it all befuddled Elena - it was both wrong and right and her mind struggled to find sense and to control the reactions of her body.

The dizzying feeling reached a peak when Damon leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the very corner of her mouth. The almost kiss set her mind reeling with feelings of guilt, lust and confusion but her turmoil was interrupted by Damon's velvety voice.

"Thank you." - he breathed before turning the light off and laying his head over her heart as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

Finally, with a deep sigh, Elena was able to understand his need. She was able to relax little by little in his embrace, giving Damon the skin on skin contact he needed; the feel of warmth that her skin produced; the comforting thrumming of her living heart. As Damon nuzzled into her chest, Elena wrapped her arms protectively around him and gently caressed his raven locks, trying to become the safest haven for his broken heart.

"It's going to be ok." - she whispered consolingly into the dark –" You are going to be ok Damon."

She felt Damon's arms tighten around her, and wetness on her chest as his body started to tremble with quiet sobs. Elena ran her hands soothingly over the broken man in her arms, trying to ignore the pain that his tears ignited within her but shattering all the same. She wanted to be strong for him and she prayed to god that she was as Damon finally fell asleep in her arms and she followed soon after cocooning him with her petite body.

Outside her window another heart prayed for strength. Stefan had morbidly watched his brother and girlfriend for the last hour, caught as he was between jealousy and thankfulness. He had been so desperate to help his brother that at first he had rejoiced at finding him here, safe and responsive.

When Elena had first wrapped her arms around Damon, Stefan tried to calm his jealousy down by being grateful that she had managed to make it through to his brother.

When said brother had started undressing, Stefan had had to stop himself from jumping into the room and rip his head off, trying desperately to trust Elena's faithfulness.

His limits where tested when Damon removed his girlfriend's top. Stefan went nearly insane with rage but he held back because now he needed to see where this was going. His heart constricted in painful ways as Damon moved Elena under him and Stefan's thoughts turned dark for a while. With dubious relief, he watched as his brother broke down in sobs holding tight to Elena. Then, with an unfathomable sorrow of one that knows that their sand castle is about to be engulfed by the tide, Stefan watched as his girlfriend and his brother fell asleep in each other arms like the lovers they had no right to be.

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**AN: More as soon as possible. Let me know how you liked it. xoxo**


	4. Caught blushing

**AN: So this is where things start to get complicated both in the story and for your writer! I now have to start watching the episodes again because I want this story to actually look like it happened. Meaning that when I get done, I hope you will believe this was happening at the same time as what happened on TV. Easy peezy, right? Enjoy. xoxo**

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Elena woke up groggily but rested and slightly disturbed by the heavy weight pressing her against her mattress. When she looked down, she was enthralled by a beautiful sight; the face of a fallen angel rested on her chest and it made her smile tenderly.

"Damon…" – she whispered marveling at how innocent he looked in his sleep. The man in her arms could never be evil... The man in her arms should have never suffered the rejection he received at the hands of her doppelganger...

The events of the night before came back to her, the memory of how broken this man had been. Then…, Elena blushed as she closed her eyes, remembering how he had removed her top so he could feel her skin and find comfort from his grief.

She couldn't help but feel guilty for waking up half naked in Stefan's brother arms in her bed... No matter how good and innocent her intentions had been, this would look wrong... Elena tried to tell herself that there was no reason for guilt, and yet, guilt burned bright in her insides… because one truth she couldn't deny… Elena felt right with Damon draped over her, and feeling so right in another man's arms was wrong in more ways that she could enumerate.

As her heart started to speed up out of nerves and conjectures, Damon started to stir and held her tighter. Elena chuckled in amusement as she ran her hand through his silky locks, bringing him closer to consciousness.

"Go back to sleep." – he mumbled sleepily –"It is not nice to laugh at people's bed head…"

"Well," - she quipped playfully - "you do look awful Damon."

Damon gave her a lazy smile and opened his blue eyes, resting his chin on her chest to beam at her.

"I _never _look awful my dear." – he smirked and it made her smile stretch as they gazed at each other intently.

"Ahem" – someone else cleared their throat and Elena practically jumped out of her skin at seeing Stefan seated on the window bench. _"Oh God! What must they look like to him?"_ - she wondered

"Stefan!"- she yelped.

He gave her a pained smile as she unceremoniously untangled herself from his brother and came towards him. Damon winced at being let go so hastily, the action grating against some feeling he could not name as his sanctuary flew towards his brother's arms.

"Hi…" – Elena mumbled when she reached her boyfriend, pushing her hair behind her ear and acting shy when she realized once more her state of undress– "No-nothing happened… I swear Stefan" - Elena offered nervously as she crossed her arms over her bra.

"I know…"- he said tightly trying to sound kind– "Come here." – Stefan pulled Elena into his lap and nuzzled his nose against hers seeking comfort and reassurance.

Damon watched the display of ownership with some disgust as Elena relaxed into Stefan's embrace.

She was clearly relieved at once more not being punished for trying to help Damon. _"Damon…" _she remembered and looked hastily over her shoulder to see him dressing himself, _"I don't care"_ mask full on and getting ready to leave. She groaned internally, how could she be so careless with someone in such a fragile state? Well, careless was apparently her word for the day, because Elena was so worried about Damon that she didn't even see the narrowing of Stefan's eyes as she completely ignored him.

"Where are you going?"- she asked the elder Salvatore, hoping she didn't sound too eager. Stefan's tightening grip on her leg however, left no doubt about how needy she did sound after all.

"I'm giving you love birds some space." – Damon said with a patented smirk that didn't fool her one bit.

"Damon…" – Elena started but it died on her lips when he strutted to her, nonchalantly kissed her forehead despite of her still being on his brother's lap and of how close her face was to Stefan's. Damon patted his brother on the shoulder and she felt her boyfriend tense under her, but Stefan said nothing.

"Thanks for last night." – Damon said sincerely, addressing both of them, and was out of the window before she could utter a reply.

Elena stared longingly at where he had left as Stefan watched her speculatively not liking how distracted she was. He tried to break her out of her "Damon spell" by nuzzling into her ear and was satisfied when she turned her face back to his. Trying to bring Elena back to him, Stefan started running his hands softly on her naked back and over her hip in the kind of circular pattern that normally indicated he wanted to make love to her.

"Will he be ok?" – Elena asked in a small voice, oblivious to Stefan's intentions.

Stefan sighed loudly, disappointed that not even his physical presence could dispel Damon's ghostly one.

"He is Damon…" – he shrugged in reply and then frowned.

"Stefan?" – Elena asked, finally paying attention as she took in his expression.

"You smell like him…" – Stefan mumbled dejectedly, hurt flashing in his eyes.

"Oh…right…" – Elena blushed scarlet and stood up abruptly – "I'll go and have a shower and get ready for school." – she gave him an awkward smile and scurried away into her bathroom.

Stefan watched her go with a sinking feeling in his soul as he ran his hands down his face. So it had finally started, he thought bitterly… He had seen it before… Damon was East, he was West and Elena… Well… all he could hope now is for her not to choose one over the other… Last time he had won the battle for the lady's attention... this time he wasn't so sure he would...

In the bathroom, Elena hurriedly turned the shower and sank to the floor against the cold wall crying. She didn't want to not think about Damon or Stefan or what last night meant for the three of them. But in the back of her head she knew…her good intentions had opened a Pandora's Box and nothing good could come of it… It was written in Stefan's face… and in Damon's too because that mask didn't hide anything… Elena only hoped that she wasn't as transparent as the two Salvatore's and that she could continue to play the "denial game" forever…

"Yeah…" – she snorted – "because that is really going to work…" – she muttered angrily as she wiped her tears with the back of her wrists and got up to get ready for her day…

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**AN: Hope you liked it! R&R xoxo**


	5. Acting normal

**AN: sorry, sorry, sorry. I have a laundry list of things that prevented me from updating but I won't bother you with it. Unfortunately this chapter is more about advancing the plot and sketching the characters psychological state of mind. I want us to get to lemons but since I am trying to fit this "story" around the TV show I can only do so much to speed things up. :)**

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Things go back to "normal" after that, well, if normal meant Damon and Elena avoiding each other and Bonnie being out of town since her grandmother's funeral took place.

Thankfully, Elena had the search for her biological mother and Stefan had a volatile brother to keep them both conveniently occupied. Therefore, neither of them ever mentioned the night Damon spent on her bed, and their relationship started to feel safe and known again.

Of course, Elena still worried about Damon's state of mind - she wouldn't be Elena if she didn't – but she kept busy and away from temptation. The information Jenna unearthed about her biological mother, _Isobel Flemming_, was enough to send anyone's mind reeling anyway. So Elena poured her energy into the mystery of her origins rather than thinking about the blue eyed Salvatore and how it felt so right to have him sleep in her arms.

To add to Elena's existential headache, Jenna had also made the connection that _maybe_ Elena's Isobel was one and the same as Alaric's, her history teacher/vampire hunter, dead wife. The coincidence was so absurd that even contemplating the idea felt ridiculous. She shared her thoughts with Stefan and he did a good job at calming her fears, chalking it down to coincidence. It didn't however dissipate her worries that maybe, just maybe Jenna could be right.

Elena pushed the idea to the back of her mind however, right next to her feelings and thoughts about Damon. She wasn't going to follow either lines of thought if she could help it, so she marched on, simply ignoring the glaring truths. Stefan offered to come with her to investigate the lead about her birth mother, but, in truth, he had his hands, and his heart, full with Damon and Elena knew it.

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Whilst Elena gathered the courage and decided to go check on her possible mother's ex-best friend, Stefan went back home to check on his grieving brother.

Back at the Boarding House, what Stefan found was old style Damon. Back was the indulging and careless Damon, the one that felt like exploiting some women in the name of grief. So there he was, surrounded by young girls, partying, dancing, drinking and tapping their veins. Stefan took in the scene, looking at his drunken and debouched brother sternly. Loud music, semi clad girls with bite marks all over and copious amounts of booze where not, in Stefan's opinion, exactly a sign of good mental health.

Stefan pulled Damon away from his little private decadent party with the Tridelts and pressed for information about Isobel. Damon was not forthcoming, he was too wrapped up in his grief to care about anything else, so Stefan managed to learn nothing new. If his brother knew who Stefan was talking about, then he was doing a very good job at not showing it. Then again, Stefan mused, this was Damon…

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On another part of town, Jenna and Alaric shared a moment whilst hanging a banner for that night's Bachelor's fund raiser at the Grill. After the briefest of kisses, Jenna decided to share with Alaric her suspicions that his wife and Elena's bio-mother might be one and the same. When Jenna showed him Isobel's photo, Alaric went pale…

_"What other lies had his wife told him?"_ - was all he could think of.

Alaric walked away perturbed, leaving a crestfallen Jenna behind. When the shock wore off, he immediately called Stefan, asking for an impromptu meeting at the town square. Stefan came quickly, only to find that Alaric was angry and agitated because of what he had learned from Jenna. He demanded that Stefan get more information about Isobel from his brother.

Stefan tried to explain that Damon wasn't quite himself at the moment, but Alaric would not take no for an answer. Stefan urged him to see reason and to not try to get on the bad side of his brother. Alaric reluctantly agreed and gave Stefan a crumpled photo of his missing wife. As he clutched it, Stefan felt a sense of foreboding in every cell of his body. This was not going to end up well… he walked away from Alaric with a leaden soul.

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.

During their talk, Alaric had brought Elena's name up as a veiled threat but, Stefan made sure he understood that he was to leave Elena out of it. Stefan didn't want to see his girlfriend hurt and what she didn't know couldn't hurt her, which was his default _modus operandi _- better a white lie than the ghastly truth_._ After all, Elena was already dealing with so much… and he would protect her if he could… So once more Stefan convinced himself that not telling the truth was acceptable…

There was also another side to this, his brother… Elena had somewhat managed to find a vestige of humanity in Damon, a humanity Stefan had deemed lost forever, and however much their connection hurt him, Stefan couldn't bear to damage it… It was there when she managed to save Damon from being locked in the tomb, and it might be what kept Damon from going over the edge. If there was a chance, if it was possible, that Elena might be the key to redeem Damon, then Stefan owed him that. He had seen how Damon looked at Elena and it gnawed at Stefan's insides, but for a chance to have his brother back, for a chance to save him… Stefan would bear almost anything...even if it killed him piece by piece in the process.

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Alaric, his head full of questions and empty of answers, headed straight to the Grill's bar, needing something strong to take out the edge of his anger and frustration. The universe however, had a sick sense of humor and, lo and behold, he was soon joined by an already very inebriated Damon. They exchanged some tense words but Alaric parted without engaging, trying his best to heed Stefan's advice.

Liz, the Sheriff, took the opportunity to have a word with Damon and ask him to join in on the Bachelor's fundraiser. He agreed because he was quite fond of the Sheriff, but being Damon, he asked for a background check on the mysterious Mr. Saltzman in exchange.

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AN: More soon. xoxo


	6. Busy work

**AN:And the story continues. I am finding it hard to find loopholes in the TV series to insert DElena scenes that we haven't seen but that would be believable. I will keep trying until I can no longer :) Even if I have to resort to each characters "radio head" to further the plot. ;)**

**I know I still owe many of you review responses, but I figured you would rather have a new chapter than s PM from me. :)**

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Damon, Alaric and Stefan weren't the only ones with an eventful day weighing on their shoulders. Elena had made busy work for herself and managed to gather the courage she needed to pay her mother's old friend a visit. At first glance, the lady seemed friendly enough, if very much on edge. Unfortunately, other than some useless reminiscing, Elena didn't manage to get much information out of her. What Elena did learn though, was that the woman was _very_ aware of vampires. When Trudy, her mom's friend noticed Elena had cottoned on to her, she ushered the young girl unceremoniously out of the house, which Elena found disconcerting.

The whole thing bothered Elena no end and filled her with uneasiness. Feeling distressed and confused and needing to talk to Stefan, Elena headed to the Boarding House. She wanted to tell him about her frustrating meeting with her biological mother's friend and her fears that her only clue was a waste of time. Maybe he would figure out what she could do next, she wanted to hear his thoughts about it, because she was honestly stumped. Unfortunately, with her quest to find her bio-mom coming to a dead end, the only distraction she has was also gone and Elena's thoughts drifted to the elder Salvatore.

Not that she wanted to think about him, it was more a case of not being able to keep him out of her mind. Elena subconsciously touched her vervain necklace for assurance. She sighed, no, it was her own mind playing this cruel trick on her, not Damon's. The thing was that the man, vampire, whatever, in question was such a puzzle to her. He was equal parts danger and temptation, seduction and deliciousness... But there was also another side to him,a side that Elena had caught here and there but that no one else seemed to see. He was also loyal, very loyal, and protective, should she dare to say caring and kind too? Elena shook her head, no, she must be seeing things... She hated that she felt... That she felt compelled by him, affected by his presence, unable to ignore him despite her attempts to sound like the sullen and snarky 18 year old she could channel.

Elena ascended the steps to her boyfriend's room.

"Stefan?" – she called out.

"Better."- Damon's figure appeared– "Me."- he announced as he walked towards her gracefully, bare chest, making Elena's breath hitch.

They hadn't seen each other since that, erm, "night", and the fact that Damon wasn't wearing a shirt and his trousers hung low did not help matters at all. The memory of his silky skin against hers invaded Elena's mind as she did her best to control her eyes from roaming the expanse of his beautiful toned chest.

"_Focus Elena, and whatever you do, *do not* look at how much skin you can see because of his low hung jeans."_ – she told herself as she tried to find the words to reply to his taunt –"You look…hmmm"

"Dashing? Gorgeous?" – he purred as he approached her - "I-rre-sistible?" – he offered as he leaned into her.

Mustering all her control, Elena leaned back and tried to sound indifferent – "Wrecked." – she said with a disdainful tone –"You look wrecked." – she repeated happy with herself for her quick recovery. Never mind that he was close enough to give her vertigo or that her eyes kept roaming his naked chest. At least the words sounded like she didn't care. "_Right?"_

"No reason why..." – he answered and Elena's eyes kept looking down – "Did you know that I am one of Mystic Falls most eligible bachelors?"- Damon offered somewhat cockily, but nothing like the man he was before opening the tomb.

"Uh." – was Elena's eloquent response, still doing her best to feign disinterest.

"Yep." – Damon walked away as Elena watched his enticing retreating back. She was doing her best, trying not to think of how she had wrapped her arms around it and held him close as he cried. Feeling high strung, Elena crossed her arms in front of her to keep herself in check.

Damon moved to put his shirt on and she noticed that he looked clumsier than usual.

"How are you doing?" – she asked genuinely concerned.

"Never better." – he answered but it didn't fool her – "Yep" – he muttered more to himself than her as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror –"What can I do for you? I am a barrel of favors today." - he said bitterly - "It's my new found purpose. How can I help people?"

Elena looked at him worriedly, not buying the though act, wondering for a second if he needed another hug, "…_preferably before the shirt was fully on?_". Elena pursed her lips, and tightened her arms around herself, somewhat angry at her stray thoughts.

"I am just waiting for Stefan," – she said instead -"we are going to the fundraiser."- she finished, watching him struggle with his buttons as he turned to her.

She gave his body another once over, _"no reason to not enjoy the view right?"_, she thought to herself.

"Help a guy out?"- Damon muttered, still struggling to close his shirt –"I can't get this."

Elena huffed exaggeratedly as if annoyed, which she clearly wasn't, and came towards him. He observed her approach with interest, trying to find signs, other than her erratic heartbeat, that she was affected by him. Damon took a deep breath as her deft fingers started to close the buttons of his shirt, regretting a little that Elena was so careful not to touch his skin, but grateful nonetheless for the proximity. Damon had enjoyed "their night together" and had found comfort in her presence and body, in her ability to care for him and what he felt. Inhaling her scent brought that feeling back and the smile on her lips as she shared what was on her mind momentarily distracted him from his depression.

"So, I found out who my birth mother is." – Elena said innocently, eyes full of emotion.

Damon groaned – "Who cares?" – Elena looked hurt as she gazed into his mesmerizing eyes.

"She left you." – Damon explained with compassion and her expression softened–"She sucks." – he finished, making her gaze fall to his soft lips then slowly back to his compelling piercing blue eyes. Elena could feel them on her like heat, and the proximity of their bodies was making it hard for her to breathe. Being this close to Damon was dizzying and Elena was spellbound, if only she knew the effect she herself had on him...

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**AN: More soon. Let me know how I am doing ok? xoxo**


	7. Weaving old patterns

**AN: We are still navigating through their thoughts as there is no way I can fit more scenes in between these. **

**THANK YOU for those of you who took time to leave me a review. **They help a lot, they really do! _Two comments stuck on my mind:_ **1.**Was the reviewer that kindly reminded me _not_ to forget Stefan in favor of DElena, _and she is 100% right_. I will do my best to *try* to bring more of that side of the love triangle to this story. So t_hank you_ for the reminder ;) **2.** another reviewer complained about me using full TV episodes' dialogues. As I explained to her, this FF is a bit different from my previous ones. As I have warned before, this FF is entirely dependent on it fitting it around what actually took place in the TV show in a believable manner. Therefore, at times, I will need to use the TV episode dialogue so that I can further the plot by what the characters are thinking whilst the dialogue goes on. Trust me, I don't like typing or using someone else's dialogue, but it is the only way I can complete this challenge I set for my self. So _please_ don't grill me for it. :)

**Now let's go back to the fun!**

* * *

Stefan returned to the Boarding House, feeling frustrated and weary. His talk with Alaric had left him on edge, and the professor's veiled threats to tell Elena what they _suspected_ Damon had done where making Stefan nervous. It was tiresome worrying so much and having the equivalent to a knife pressed against your neck at all times. Damon may be acting sullenly at the moment, all girls, blood and booze, but Stefan had caught a glimpse of his brother's humanity and it had made hope blossom in his chest. For the chance of having his brother back, Stefan was willing to do anything... even let his brother sleep in the same bed as his girl so that she could rescue Damon from the abyss of being a remorseless killing machine.

The subtle interactions between Elena and Damon stung, they did, and ached and throbbed inside his heart, but the wounds they inflicted were nothing... Nothing compared to the guilt Stefan carried for turning Damon into a heartless monster... for being the one that extinguished the Damon of his youth, the one Stefan had loved so very much... and still longed for.

Stefan's heavy soul lightened a little when he saw Elena's car in the driveway. He loved his girl... her humanity, her unfailing ability to see good in him and Damon, her urge to feel for and save everyone around her. Elena was like a beam of light in the darkest hour, the salvation Stefan had sought for many, many years. His prayers had been answered two fold, redemption for him and salvation for his brother... Thank God for small and big mercies!

As Stefan ascended the steps to his room, where surely his love would be waiting for him, his enhanced hearing allowed him to pick up three distinct sounds. The first two, Elena's voice and heart gave him reason to rejoice, until he realized the erratic beat of the latter and the third sound, his brother's voice. As Damon conversed, his gravelly baritone voice seemed to wrap himself around Elena and her senses because Stefan could hear her heart skip, accelerate and jump in response to every calculate word. He wondered if he should leave, or if he should ascend the stairs more quickly. Did Elena realize the slow seduction his brother was weaving? Did she need to be rescued or was she still trying to be a rescuer? With a resigned sigh Stefan continued ascending the stairs to his room. Damon would have heard him already, so he might as well show his face... Hopefully Elena would be happy to see him. Hopefully he wouldn't look as jealous and upset as he felt...

.

.

.

Steps echoed of the wooden floor and Elena's body went rigid as the world came back into view. The spell between her and Damon was broken as she looked behind him to see Stefan looking contrite as he entered the room.

"Stefan!" – her voice came out more like a shrill – "There you are."- she moved as fast as she could towards her boyfriend trying to act as if nothing had happened, because nothing had, really.

_"How long had he been there? How much did he see or hear?" - _she thought in a panic.

Stefan gave her a tight smile that came out looking more like a wince. It was painful to see Elena falling little by little into Damon's spell… She must have sensed how uncomfortable he was, because she stopped a little distance away from him, trying not to crowd his space. They stood awkwardly apart, as Elena looked at Stefan sheepishly, she didn't want to feel guilty, but guilt was blooming in her chest and in her gaze.

"Hey."- Stefan mumbled trying to act normal, he didn't want to think about what he would have seen if he had come in a few minutes later. Just the idea of it might make him reconsider his decision to let Elena help his brother, so he decided not to go there.

The awkward silence was interrupted by Damon's groan as he tried to fit into one of Stefan's jackets, making both Elena and Stefan turn their attention, perhaps too eagerly, towards him.

"Ah, I need a bigger jacket." – Damon pronounced as Elena looked at him and Stefan watched Elena carefully – "Wow…You know, the occasional sorority girl, might, umm, you know, help fill you out a little bit." – Damon taunted and Stefan gave him a tight smile, hands firmly in his pocket so that he wouldn't take the bait.

Elena watched Damon walk pass them,her eyes narrowing, as he pointedly buttoned his shirt with deft fingers as he eyed her. Her face held a look of disbelief as, unbeknownst to her, Stefan watched her knowingly, heart sinking with every observation he cataloged.

"He's fine." – she said tersely watching Damon go, a bit too much passion in her voice for someone that professed not to care.

"He's Damon." – Stefan offered as if that explained everything.

"Maybe this heartache will be good for him." – Elena said bitterly –"It will remind him that he has one even if it doesn't beat."

Stefan sighed, easily seeing trough her and how affected she was by his brother.

"I wouldn't hold my breath…" – he said to appease her, trying to remain true to his decision to let Elena help Damon.

Thank God for more pressing matters, always a good escape route when people want to avoid the big white elephant in the room. Therefore, moving away from the "Damon" subject, Elena told Stefan all about her visit to her mother's friend house and the woman's knowledge of vampirism. Stefan, in turn, showed her Alaric's wife photo, leaving no doubt that she was, after all, Elena's mother. He also told her about the fact that Isobel had been obsessed with vampires and that Alaric believed she had been killed by one. When Elena expressed interest in talking to Alaric, Stefan urged her to hold off for the time being. After all, he couldn't have her finding out about Damon's possible involvement until he knew more himself and, thankfully, she begrudgingly agreed.

Stefan let Elena leave with an even wearier sigh... He needed to save his brother from himself... Elena had found a way to wake up his humanity... Stefan needed to believe that together they would be able to bring his brother back from the dark place he had been trapped since he had turned... Hopefully he wouldn't lose Elena in the process, after all, their love was supposed to be "Epic"...

"Stupid word" - Stefan muttered as he turned around went to look for his brother. He needed answers urgently, desperately. Answers for Elena, for Alaric and for himself, and he needed them now.

.

.

.

"Where did our girlfriend go?"- Damon asked Stefan smugly as he reached the ground floor. Damon knew full well that Stefan had seen how he and Elena had been having a moment, and he reveled in the opportunity to rub it in Stefan's face.

Stefan took a deep breath and didn't take the bait. It unnerved him that Damon flaunted his connection to Elena this way, but he had to keep his eye on the prize, not the taunts.

"She is on her way to the Grill."- he said as amicably as he could –"I, I wanted to talk to you." – he said as he opened up the crumpled photograph Alaric had given him and handed it to Damon– "This is the woman, Isobel, from North Carolina."

Damon looked at the picture and smiled

"Remember her now?"- Stefan asked eagerly.

"Who wants to know?"- Damon asked.

"I do." – Stefan replied meekly.

"Who _else_ wants to know?" – Damon asked more emphatically and Stefan had to bite back a less friendly reply.

"Did you kill her?" – he finally asked bluntly.

"Sorry," – Damon shrugged –"Don't know her."

That was answer enough for Stefan and he knew full well what it meant. It wasn't the full answer but it was a beginning, an ominous beginning...

"Hey, are you coming?" – Damon asked, breaking Stefan out of his reverie –"The house wives of Mystic Falls await." – his Damon quipped as he left the room, completely oblivious to the fact that the tentative friendship he had struck with Elena was on the verge of being obliterated by his past deeds.

Stefan followed in his brother's footsteps, hoping and praying that things would not end up disastrously bad tonight...

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**AN: How are we doing?****Hopefully you are still enjoying this. If you are, please let me know ok? Reviews always spur me on :) xoxo**


	8. Update & news

Dearest readers,

Writing for misery loves whisky has been **very** challenging, but you have all been **great** at helping me with your reviews. Both the good ones and the disapproving ones have given me a lot to think about and _I think_ that I have finally had an epiphany thanks to the many wise reviews I have received :)

A way to involve** more Stefan**, **less** word-by-word **episode dialogues** and, my favorite part, a way to include **DElena hotness** without messing the timeline! Honestly, the way I was having to handle it so far was giving me very little wiggle room and it was driving me m-a-d!

Unfortunately the next two weeks are going to be very busy and whilst _I will do my best to churn out some more chapters_ I can't make any promises other than I am trying to do this as fast as I can.

**So my prior warning stands**, this is a slow moving story because it has to make sense with what happened in the TV episodes because **the whole point of this exercise is that this happened even if we didn't see it**. The writing of this story is made even slower because** I decided to write this on the go and listening to your feedback. **But I think that because of this colaboration and because of the constrains **it might turn out to be the best story of them all_, so stay with me and know that not only I am incredibly thankful for your feedback but also for your patience._**

xoxo


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